As you will come to realize, I enjoy writing in an informal manner at times. I write in stream of consciousness at times as well. I hope that this will endear you to me, because I am writing as I would be talking to you. :-), Not always. As you can see, in some of my more technical case studies when I was working in fascia and kinesiology, I found a more academic voice to be useful. Also, my words can sometimes be effusive in quantity. I will not be offended in the least if your attention wanders, and perhaps you pick back up another time, or let the post lay where it may. This is about supporting your voice as well.
Today I had a conversation with some friends about tissues. The conversation was quite philosophical, and perhaps some of you have had this very same conversation. Is it punitive to offer a tissue when someone is emotional, or is it caring?
Well, the answer depends on both the recipient and the giver.
This conversation helped me think about and gave me some motivation to write about the analysis of my own relationship to healing as a profession. As many of you know, I started out in the formal healing profession as a yoga teacher in 2014. However, long before this, I was taking on the role of healer and coach in every professional, and I would also say, personal relationship in my life.
I gained my self esteem by seeming to help others, with or without their permission. Professionally, I sought out opportunities where I could really be the hero, projects that really needed my expertise, intelligence, resourcefulness and optimism. And lo and behold, a lot of time, I had big wins.
Outwardly, my projects gained financially, expanded reach and chartered new and desired territories for my colleagues. Even after entering the healing field directly, I continued working with clients one on one, you may be one of them, and struggled constantly with the feeling of not being able to offer enough, with having to increase my knowledge and investment in my profession. The same mindset has applied to my personal life.
I liken this to the idea that we “leave our textbooks” at the office in our personal relationships, ie. don’t date a fixer upper. So, how does all of this relate to my ever evolving business and my client work?
Well, I am a guarded and honest person, and I try to be as open as possible, with the goal of respecting everyone’s boundaries with regards to confidentiality and conventions. For most of 2020, I have approached my presence on social media as an opportunity to share personal insights based on hard won experiences. This has been my approach with clients too, I have nothing to hide.
My insights into personal transformation come from a lot of deep, dark moments where I faced a reckoning of a fork in the road after making decisions that were, ultimately, not in my best interest. I deeply feel like sharing these moments is part of my role as a coach and a healer. All that to be said, I am still spending a good time really looking the role of coach, healer, guide, teacher, in the face.
What are my motivations?
Do I just want to tell people how to live their life, am I controlling, do I want to save people, rescue them? Is that how I gain my own value? Who am I without that role.
These are all questions that I take seriously and I look at in my own practice, both alone and with others. As part of me, my inner child, really does not want to be a coach. She wants ten coaches to pay attention to her, all by herself. And I need to honor that. I need to really honor that, and fill her up so full that she feels truly satisfied. I am not doing anyone any good by pretending to be helpful when I am feeling deprived myself. I am looking at the role of a client-centered business and sitting with my inner child, letting her know that she comes first no matter what. And also, checking my motives. I am not better than anyone simply because I have studied a certain area, practiced various techniques longer than them. And I do not need, and cannot, fix anyone with my healing capacities.
This is why I like the word, GUIDE. I like the word guide even more than I like the word healer. I am a guide, in that I take my role very seriously when working with individuals on an area of transformation. I consider the interaction sacred, in fact. However, that energy that evolves between us, is not mine to control. My hope is that everyone gains a greater sense of self acceptance for their own self, arrives closer to their true self, and is energized by their own self to keep going.